“ClownWorld Shakespeare will delight audiences of all ages (eh, mostly adults) with his laser-tuned takes on current events.
From his secret underground location****, complete with WiFi and easy access to Uber Eats, ClownWorld Shakespeare waxes poetic about any and everything from George Santos to Santa Claus to—”
Hold on, hold on. It’s me, William, speaking now. That was my PR guy Ian above. Sorry, just woke up. Anyway, what I’m gonna be writing mostly about is ale. Or beer, whatever you moderns call it today. It’s horrid; it’s as if every rotting corpse was drained of its fluids and poof! Those fluids are the ale… or beer or bloody swill! It’s like that time when the Duke of Worcester’s spleen was torn out by a pack of wild dogs—
“Ian here. Shut your rhyme hole, William! Let me talk. That’s why you hired me. Ahem, where was I? Oh, sorry, right. Fair gents and lovely maidens, ignore William, but please, please do read the Substack.”
[****The secret underground location is actually the Hamilton Arms apartments, unit 9B, the one facing the sheet metal factory on I-5 North.]
For more secrets and more humor, including parodies as well as sonnets that won’t adhere to that ridiculous and thoroughly outdated 14-line rule, please hit that square blue button below.
It’s free to sign up, and you’ll get an email every time a new post drops.
Paid subscribers to ClownWorld Shakespeare are eligible for PERSONALIZED SONNET SERVICES, click here. Founding members will be eligible for three personalized sonnets!
But be forewarned! However many times you hit that the oh-so-enchanting blue badge below, it’s not gonna force ClownWorld Shakespeare to go back to 14 lines per sonnet. Read my Elizabethan lips: freeform, baby!
You want 14 lines and only 14 lines, you hit someone else’s blue button, pal! But yeah, sure, rhyming, iambic pentameter, blah, blah, blah, ClownWorld Shakespeare’s got it.
